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Home and Family Marriage Saving a Relationship May Hinge on Taking Counterintuitive Steps
Home and Family Marriage Saving a Relationship May Hinge on Taking Counterintuitive Steps| Saving a Relationship May Hinge on Taking Counterintuitive Steps |
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| Written by Samantha Fulcher |
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Arguably one of the most difficult things we will ever do in our lives is saving a relationship. These moments are highly charged with emotion and consequently we run the risks of saying and doing things that we will probably regret later. As such, we realize just how easily can we lose the person we love forever. Often, what feels like the "right" thing to do emotionally turns out to be the "wrong" thing to do in reality. Think of the stock market -- when everyone sells, the right thing to do is buy but since emotions overule logic, we make the same mistakes that bad investors make. Although calling our ex and telling him or her that we still love them and miss them might feel right to do emotionally, it is actually the wrong thing to do. In fact, we should take a contrarian, or counterintuitive approach to saving a relationship. In the past, I have written that one of the first things you should do when you are the victim of a break up is accept the decision. Let your ex know that you appreciate the decision that was made and that you realize just how important your freedom is to you. Say this with as positive a tone as possible. This will be a difficult task, but it is one of the basic, essential steps to saving a relationship. Another counterintuitive step is cutting off all communication. Of course, this has to happen after you accept the break up, so we can call this a second step. The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, it allows the ex time to wonder why you might have agreed to the break-up in the first place... and with such a positive attitude about the whole thing, too! It's good to leave an image of a happy, freed single with your ex... you were likely happy and free when you met, so this image will bring back many memories. The second great effect is that your ex will stop thinking of the negative aspects of the relationship (as a sort of self-justification for breaking up in the first place) and will instead wonder about the happy and free single man/woman who hasn't returned his or her calls; this time alone will really let your ex miss you. Since your ex will have a positive image in mind, positive memories will flood the negatives ones and with no communication with you, your ex will wonder why they ever broke up in the first place. Now it will be up to your ex to take the steps necessary for saving a relationship. These counterintuitive steps should give you a basic foundation for saving a relationship. Understandably, they are difficult to put into action and will require faith in just how solid your relationship was in the first place. But one thing you should remember is that most people hate change. They would prefer a mediocre relationship than running the risk of starting a new one with someone they probably haven't found yet. About The Author: Sam Fulcher is the Relationship Advisor at The Match Maker Review. For tips on how to get your ex back, visit Help Get My Ex Back. Visit the Uber Article Directory to get a totally unique version of this article for reprint. Kindly provided by 4Girls.dk You are welcome to use this article on your own website, if you include this link. |
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